16 May 2008


Wow! This week has been one of great joy in the middle of trials! My only way through it has been to listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit and obey. The word "docile" keeps coming up this week.
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” (Rom. 8:14 RSV) I'm learning to place myself in the hands of Father God, like a child abandons himself to his father’s care.

I'm also learning that the Lord gives AND He takes away. It's easy to trust Him when He gives good things and takes away bad things. But what about when He allows bad things, and takes away what we love the most? What if God said, "Your sanctification requires that you suffer through cancer. Do you trust me?" Or, "Do you love me enough to let me take your children away?"

A true love for God is a martyrs love that responds with a willingness to give up what we hold dearest. That may be wealth (the rich young ruler), Status/learning (Nicodemus), the family business (Andrew & Peter), etc.

I went to the Charismatic prayer group at Holy Apostles Catholic Church in Colorado Spings on Wednesday night. It was so great to be with 100+ spirit-filled folks in community. The first song we sang was the Matt Redman song "Blessed Be Your Name". I've listened to the version by Tree 63 for years, but while singing it in the midst of loss meant something new. I broke down when we got to the verse, "Blessed be your name/On the road marked with suffering/Though there's pain in the offering/Blessed be your name."

Since my current ordeal hit heavy two months ago, I haven't really cried about it, but the Holy Spirit gave me that gift of tears. I couldn't speak or sing. I just wept, holding my rosary and letting Love wash over me.

The song came on the radio while I was driving home and I almost had to pull off the road!

God lights the way, even in darkness.

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